Author: Mati Roy | Created: 2021-12-10 | Updated: 2022-01-28

My dating profile

Other relevant writings:

Bounty

Bounty: 3,500 USD

I'm offering 2,000 USD for someone I end up consensually being a legal parent with who you’ve introduced me to and who wasn’t already a prospect. If someone reached out to me as a result of you sharing my profile on social media, that counts too. Paid only for my first child.

My good friend Alton offered an additional 1,000 USD to support me ❤️ – ze said:

I'll add $1000 to the bounty for the referral of someone who is with you and brings you a lot of joy for 18+ months because I love celebrating love. I'd want to have the option to have a 2 hour call with you both at that time window as a strong preference but not necessary.

My friend Toli also offered an additional 500 USD to support me ❤️ – ze said:

I will 50% match that bounty ($500) with the same conditions 🙂 I don't know Mati *that well* (yet). But very much interested in seeing him find a partner and taking apart how he did it

Here's Toli's own bountified dating profile (with a much larger bounty ^_^).

A few more notes:

General

While I’m open to other types of relationships, this profile is written with the goal of finding someone/people to raise children with. I'm 31 years old (born in October 1990).

I invite you to be yourself. I encourage you to not avoid doing anything you want to do in relation to me just "because it's weird".

Feel free to use Reciprocity to see if we match, or just reach out to me directly.

There’s some information I like to have about prospects early on that might be easier to do in a survey format, or at least just so you know some specific explicit questions I generally have, you can see my Date me survey. Feel free to be very explicit and to the point with me (or not). You can send me your own questions.

Looks

Here are some more pictures: https://photos.app.goo.gl/kLW4zMfwi7otDN4T7.

I measure 188 cm (6'2). I just weighed myself, and I was at 93.6 kg (206 lbs).

Relationship structure and attraction

I’m open to various structures. I have a preference towards polyfidelity with some openness, but could do anything from monogamy to complete openness.

I’m panromantic. I’m more sexually attracted towards females in general. Romantic and sexual attraction is a plus.

Relationship

I would like a partner with whom I can connect deeply, know each other very well and develop great models of each other, share about what's going on in our lives, and be open about our internal experiences. Provide support in each other's goals and aspirations, have each other's back, and deeply trust each other, and care about each other. Giving each other's affection.

Be a team working together. Defaulting to assuming any issues that might arise isn't being done maliciously, and being comfortable bringing them up and collaboratively working on them. Being resilient, and working hard to address any potential issues. Trying hard to not split / live separately while raising children. Ideally being open to being lifelong partners, and if distance (emotional, physical, etc.) became wanted, still remain there for each other.

Spending time together. In terms of spending time together, I might lean towards spending a bit less time together than the median couple. I like spending time with a partner by sharing meals, doing exercise / sports, cuddling, talking about our day, messing around, learning something, and working on common projects. I don’t like to go out regularly, but maybe it’s because I just haven’t found the right activities.

About me

Reviews. I’ve had some reviews which I think are relevant here.

Values. I’m a very principled person. Honesty is very important for me. In terms of moral philosophy, I’m leaning towards deontological-threshold negative preference-weighted life utilitarianism.

Communication style. I lean ask/tell culture. I’m rather good at guess culture, and like using it sometimes, but it’s important to me that my partner is able to make their needs known explicitly if I fail at reading them, and be okay with me doing the same. I want someone that is open to receiving feedback — I personally love feedback. I strongly dislike “deny culture” — where someone says something that I need to deny, instead of asking me. I’m leaning more towards cold culture.

Fun. I like adventures and challenges. Not that I do those a lot, but I love them when I do. Illustrative examples: I find it exhilarating to sleep naked in a cold forest, and I love doing DIY Impractical Jokers (this one about dating profile 😅), exploring abandoned buildings, and doing food fights^^ I generally like going out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I like roleplaying. I like creating things.

Vibe. I'm often told I have a calming effect. I can inhabit other vibes, but I often inhabit that one.

Habits. I don’t drink alcohol. I don’t smoke. I don’t take any drugs.

Knowledge (outside profession). I’ve read a fair amount about topics related to economics, moral philosophy, futurism, effective altruism, LessWrong, rationality, and transhumanism.

Conflict resolution. Here are some strategies I like to use.

Videos. Here are recent videos of me: discussion with Malcolm, circling, more circling, authentic relating games (biased sample based on what tends to be streamed).

OkCupid Questions. I’ve answered many OkCupid questions — most of them are very old and a lot aren’t up-to-date, but you can still check them out.

More. To know more about me, I invite you to go the traditional route – ie. stalking me; wait, no, I mean 1 on 1 interactions :P. You can easily stalk me though; I notably have a lot on Facebook and on my website (https://matiroy.com) – feel free to send a friend request. You can answer this survey to let me know other information you would like me to include on this profile.

Location

I have a medium preference to work towards a US citizenship (ie. I’m Canadian).

I would prefer to live in Central or North America longterm, but short-term I'm more flexible.

I'm totally okay with meeting remotely. I can also easily travel around, and will be travelling in the US starting in April.

Children

Genetic code and surrogate parents

I’m open to using our own genetic code to create our children. I’m fertile (I’ve done a spermogram and successfully donated sperm).

But I would also like to have some children using the genetic code of some of the most valuable people as I think the positive externalities can be immense.

I’m also open to using surrogate parents — I think it could actually be valuable to have children in batches of 2.

Number

I want at least 2 children, but my desire for the number of children scales almost linearly with wealth, so I would like it if having 4-6 children was on the table (I wouldn’t say no to more either).

Upbringing

I would like to share responsibilities ~equally related to taking care of our children (money, time, etc.).

I would like to have an au pair, nanny, and/or live-in maid, unless we’re more than 2 parents / adults raising the children.

I have a predisposition towards liking giving a lot of autonomy / independence / responsibilities to children.

I think it makes sense to give children the option to homeschool/unschool if/when they seem sufficiently autonomous and if/when we have the capacity to support that. I can also see traditional schooling, boarding schools, and other options being more valuable depending on our situation.

Just like I record all my life, I would like to record all the life of our children, at least in some ways at least until they can make their own decision (because I think this might be important for identity preservation, as well as useful for other reasons). I would like to sign up our children for cryonics.

I would like our children to learn English as a first language. I might speak to them in French so they also know French.

I don’t mind whether you or our children eat animal products, at least until they can make their own choices (I’m just mentionning that in case you know I have an ostrovegan diet and you were wondering).

Finances

At the margin, I’m currently charging 100 USD/h for my time. Although I’m currently spending most of my time working on entrepreneurial projects or personal projects, and not earning a wage. You can see my LinkedIn profile.

Besides expenses to save time, I'm generally pretty frugal. I like saving a lot because of the power of compounding investments. I'm near a minimal level of financial independence.

Personality I’m interested in

(Which also corresponds to my personality.)

Main traits I generally like (sort of in order):